


Revealtions

by badwolfchild



Series: Boredom [4]
Category: White Collar
Genre: Family, Family Feels, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Humor, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-24 12:21:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13213662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badwolfchild/pseuds/badwolfchild
Summary: "Well," El starts to count on her fingers. "You make him redo work, put his drawing on the fridge,""Oh my god, I've become his father." Peter stops listening.





	Revealtions

"No way man, I know you're good, but you're not that good." Jones says to Neal as he takes a sip of his coffee. It’s been a couple days after the computer incident and Peter is still forcing Neal to work in his office. At the moment, Neal is out getting Peter coffee as revenge for when they swapped identities, and Neal made Peter get him coffee, even though that was months ago.

 

Neal, being the social butterfly that he is, is taking his sweet time and chatting to Jones. "I'm telling you, name anyone in this office and I can lift their wallet and put it back without them noticing." Neal comments cockily as he grabs the sugar and pours enough in the mug to make a dentist have a heart attack.

 

"And I'm saying I don't believe you." You can practically see the gears turning in the ex-con's head as he sniffs some milk. Almost gagging, he then smirks and pours some in the now sugar flavored coffee. "Ok, what the hell are you doing?" Jones finally breaks down and asks.

 

Neal glances up at him with a twinkle in his eye. "Do you really want to know?"

 

"No, I have a feeling we're all gonna know about it from Peter sooner or later."

 

"That's the right attitude. Now, how much are you willing to bet I can pick anyone's pocket without their knowledge?"

 

"A Ben Franklin says you can't pick Peter's wallet by the end of the work day and put it back without him noticing."

 

"Deal." They shake hands and Neal leaves to take Peter the no-longer-coffee. As Jones sits down he, along with most of the people in the bullpen, hear Peter swear and start to yell. 

 

"Damn it, Neal, what is this crap!" Jones smirks while shaking his head and gets back to work.

Peter comes storming out of his office with Neal grinning in tow. "After all the stunts you've pulled in the last couple of weeks, and now this added to the list, I'm starting to question how old you are." He lectures, then spits in the sink trying to get rid of the taste lingering in his mouth.

 

"Well, according to the files you have on me I was born in '77."

 

"Which is based on the information we got from you." Peter is still rinsing out his mouth as Hughes comes down to see what all of the commotion is about.

 

Neal shrugs, hands in his pockets. "Then it must be true."

 

Hughes sighs as he reaches the two. "What'd Caffrey do now?"

 

"I was just being the good pet-convict that I am and fetched Peter here some coffee like he asked. It's not my fault no one threw out the expired milk." Neal explained with his innocent-as-thou face.

 

"No more pranks, Caffrey. We're not the NYPD."

 

"Yes sir." Hughes throws one last glance between the two, then goes back upstairs to his office.

 

"Listen, Peter, I'm sorry about the coffee. It was immature and I should be above petty pranks like that. Now, let's put it behind us and hug it out." Neal stuck out his arms in a gesture of peace. Peter squints, trying to figure out Neal's angle. Everyone is looking around, waiting for Peter to do something. Peter, noticing that people are starting to whisper to each other, realizes with Neal standing there with his puppy eyes, that people are seeing him as the bad guy.

 

"Fine." He sighs, and gives Neal his hug. He then marches back up to his office. "And I want you to make me a new coffee. Something edible this time."

 

"On it, Butch." Neal gives a little salute.

 

"Thanks, Sundance." As soon as Peter's door closes, Neal pulls his left hand out from behind his back which is now holding the older man's wallet.

 

"Hey, Jones, I'd like to see my old pal Benny now."

 

"No way, the deal was that you also had to put it back. Better get to work cause you have about," Jones looked at his watch. "Three and a half hours 'til the end of the work day."

 

Neal shrugs. "I've done more with less." 

 

"And Peter hasn't had lunch yet so you have even less time."

 

"Oh."

 

"Yeah, oh is right." The door opens upstairs and Peter comes down to the bullpen. Neal quickly slides the wallet into his pocket.

 

"Hey, Sundance, I'm gonna need a rain check on the coffee. I just remembered that I was going to meet El for lunch and if I don't leave now I'll be late again." The agent says as he slides on his jacket.

 

"Um, can I go with you?" Neal asks the first thing that comes to mind.

 

"No. This is just a lunch with me, my wife, and my dog. Nowhere does that include Neal."

 

"Please, I forgot money for lunch and you can use me as an excuse for why you were late."

 

Peter looks at his watch. "You know what, this isn't worth the fight. Every minute arguing is another wasted from being with El. Grab your hat and let's go."

 

Peter starts walking ahead while Neal lags behind. He flips his hat on and grins at Jones.

 

"Good luck, man." Jones shakes his head.

 

"Neal, let's go or you can find your own meal. Oh, and one more thing," Peter sticks out his hand. "Hand it over before you’re eating prison food for three straight meals."

 

"Peter, I have no-"

 

"Cut the crap, Neal, I've known you for eight years. I know how to spot a lift from you." Neal hands him the wallet, then turns and puts some cash in Jones's waiting hand.

 

"Thank you." Peter rolls his eyes as Jones starts counting his bills. He then plucks the hat off the kid's head and throws it back on the desk.

 

"My office. Now."

 

"But Peter, I haven't had lunch yet."

 

"You can eat the saltines by the coffee maker. Go. And Jones, next time, don't encourage him. In fact, give me."

 

"But-"

 

Peter glares. "You want to come join him?"

 

"You know, you should get lunch on me today."

 

"That's what I thought. Come on, delaying means less saltines for you." Peter ushers Neal up the stairs.

 

Up in Peter's office, Neal collapses into what has become his chair at the corner of the desk.

 

Peter reaches into his desk and pulls out a notebook and pen. Neal blinks at the items, then back at Peter.

 

"What am I supposed to do with this?"

 

"You are going to write." Peter says with his hands on his hips.

 

Neal stares at him. "Write what?"

 

"I will not steal or gamble in the office."

 

"So, that'll only take, what, twenty seconds?"

 

"You will also write it," Peter looks at how much money was betted. "One hundred times. Once for each dollar." Neal just stares, gobsmacked. "Oh, and if you don't finish before I get back it will be double that. Better get started." Peter pats him on the shoulder as he leaves. Neal sighs and picks up the pen.

 

~line break~

 

Peter finally makes it to a little cafe right outside the office. "Sorry I'm late." Peter greets El as kisses her and sits down.

 

"It's fine, Hon, I already ordered. What'd Neal do this time?"

 

"How did you know it was because of Neal?"

 

"Because you have your 'Neal did something stupid' look."

 

"Well, first-"

 

"Hold on, Satch, he's numbering them." El smirks as she pets the dog at her feet.

 

"You should have been there, first he," Peter then goes on sharing all the events that went on this morning. El nods and tries not to laugh through the whole story. "So I sat him in my office and told him to write 'I will not steal or gamble in the office' one hundred times." Peter finishes off.

 

Elizabeth starts to laugh as she puts down her sandwich that came during the story. "Honey, you had him write lines?"

 

"What's wrong with that?" Peter askes with his mouth full.

 

"Nothing it's just, never mind." She finishes off her sandwich looking at Satchmo the whole time.

 

Peter wipes his mouth and takes a sip of water. "No, what is it?"

 

"You just, you sound like his father."

 

Peter chokes on the last of his water. "What do you mean?" His voice was a little horse.

 

"Well," El starts to count on her fingers. "You make him redo work, put his drawing on the fridge,"

 

"Oh my god, I've become his father." Peter stops listening.

 

El smiles. "Well, Satch and I have to go. You should invite Neal over for dinner, I'm making Italian." She kisses her husband goodbye. "See you after work."

 

"Bye, Hon." He mumbles. After a couple of minutes he sighs as the revelation sinks in. He presses his lips together and calls over the waitress.

 

"Will that be all, sir?"

 

"Can I just get one sandwich to go?"

 

~line break~

 

"And done." Neal throws down the pen right as Peter walks in.

 

"Good thing you started when you did or you'd be doing an extra hundred. Now, you can clean up all these saltine wrappers that have appeared on my desk." Peter sits down and starts to work on the computer.

 

Neal groans, then smells the bag of leftovers. "Wasn't the writing enough? Now I have to sit here and smell your leftovers for the rest of the day? And just so you know, saltines do not fill you up, if anything, they just make you thirsty."

 

"How about instead of complaining, you go get a coffee for each of us." Neal rolls his eyes as he gets up, Peter never looking up from his screen. "Then, you get your ass back up here and eat this sandwich melt before it gets cold."

 

Neal's eyes light up. "Thank you, Peter! Thank you, thankyouthankyou!" He runs out of the office, but then runs back in. "Forgot your mug." When he was gone Peter finally looks up and chuckles as he shakes his head.

 

Neal is back in two minutes flat and starts to dig through the bag. Finding the sandwich, he rips it open and starts to eat it greedily.

 

"Don't eat too much, El mentioned something about Italian for dinner."

 

Neal swallowed. "Yes, Dad." He says sarcastically, then goes back to eating. Peter freezes as he remembers his conversation with El only a half an hour ago. Watching Neal from the corner of his eye, he shakes his head and gets back to work, pushing everything to the back of his mind.


End file.
